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| Wilbur has a second job — as a Lost Cheese Sleuth. |
Wilbur always remembers the name, face, and smell of a cheese thief, because he is a "lost cheese sleuth." He even has a motto on his official lost cheese sleuth business card:
"We always get our cheese!"
Wilbur is particularly careful around bullies. He had some unpleasant run-ins with one bully in particular. This bully took Wilbur's cheese and then stuffed it in the waistband of his pants. Um … that's not the way it's supposed to be done.
Wilbur has a list of fake or corrupted cheese to stay away from. Now he has to add "pants cheese" to his list of fake cheese.
- Toe Cheese: The goopy yellow stuff between toes and under toenails.
- Eye Cheese: This is otherwise known as "sleepy dirt."
- Ear Cheese: Otherwise known as ear wax, but not useful for candles.
- Nose Cheese: This requires no more explanation, but it is a fascination of children everywhere.
- Armpit Cheese: The gunk which cakes up in armpits.
- Pants Cheese: Never store cheese in pants … because you don't want to go there.
Wilbur also has a list of the best cheese. He keeps this list in a secret place.
